Whoever said that honesty was the best policy, probably never slept on the couch or had to make their dam lunch or dinner for themselves. There are many things I have learned about honesty, and one being, honesty comes with consequences and many of which are not so pleasant, especially as it relates to marriage and relationships
No longer do I wonder, why people will think twice about being open and transparent; they can always opt to be silent and omit the facts. Honesty, we say that we want it, but when we hear it, we are disappointed or angry at the level of detail or openness shared.
We are more comfortable with deception, than honesty
Who we are in the workplace, on a date, in a church setting or other social gatherings, is noticeably different from who we are at home. Everyone puts on a different face when they leave the house
. Everyone has something they would like to keep out of plain view or hearing because of the fear of what people “may think” or fear of not being accepted. While some will wear shoes to appear taller, others may wear loose clothing
to hide the extra weight, everyone does something to draw attention away from what we don’t like about ourselves. We want to look good enough to turn heads in our direction. Looking HOT or drop dead gorgeous is the trending thing to strive for even when we don’t feel that way, the appearance will do just fine.
We are judged so much on appearance, that few would dare to leave the home, without makeup or dressing to avoid rejection or not fitting. We love looking the part we play, while the spot lite shines on us.
Society is so judgemental about appearances that people will augment, adjust or hide what’s natural or beautiful about them. Why do we omit or hide what is factual or true? Using the phrase “hide the truth”
makes us feel more comfortable when we hear it. But to say “lie” puts anyone on the defensive. Being labeled as someone who is a liar, forces us to defend our actions of lying or omission, or denial, or deflection so that we don’t have to correct anything.
Your tone and demeanor, don’t inspire honesty
I’ve had the unfortunate experience of deciding, that being quiet was better than being honest. There is something about the tone of voice and expression on the face of the one baiting me with ” come on…be honest!” There is something about that twitch in the corner of your eye and that tone of voice that warns ME “don’t say it…don’t say it!
You are displeased, I can tell by your choice of words and the difference in your tone of voice. You tell me that you’re okay, or that you will be and I know it was the last thing I said to you that caused you to change. Honesty, as it relates to relationships, is subjective, when it shouldn’t be. When anyone has to soften their approach and dumb down being politicaly correct, it could have much to do with how you handled honesty in the past.
Honesty, such a cliche of a word.
Going Against The Grain